The Most Important Step in Reconciliation with Your Husband

There are a number of steps you can take in order to get your life back on track following a break up.  Some are more important than others.  The following excerpt from my book Do You Really Want Him Back details the MOST important step and why you can't move on without it.

Step 2.  The ListIt's time to take an honest assessment of what you stand to lose or gain by your husband coming back.  Do you realize that there can actually be a benefit if he stays gone?  Write a list of everything that you disliked about your husband.  Start on the lighter side if it is easier.  Consider how you were feeling the weeks prior to the break up.  

• Were you arguing a lot?  

• Was he distant?

• Was he open to communication?

• Did you find yourself making personal compromises while he made none?

No individual is perfect, and you may have made allowances for certain behaviors. You probably have negative behaviors that your husband was seemingly accepting of also.  That is true of most relationships. Quite often you were drawn to your husband because he accepted you. This is also the reason it hurts so bad when he leaves.

The one person who accepted you is now rejecting you. 

Your list should look something like this;

Things that annoyed me (snoring, lazy, no help around the house, inconsiderate of feelings)

Things that concerned me (lying, unaccountable time, unusual answers to simple questions) 

Things that compromised my health and/or safety (unsafe sexual behavior, violence, impulsive decisions) 

Now for balance, write down the positive. 

Things that made me smile (temperament, jokes, nice gestures) 

Things that made me feel committed (special events, pleasant surprises, dependability) 

Things that made me feel safe and secure (stability, intimacy, future plans) 

Don't make any decisions without making this FIRST!  Keep it with you; by the phone, in your purse, under your pillow. In the following weeks, when your partner calls, this is the first thing you should pick up.  

You can read the rest of this step and the other 4 in my e-book guide. If you have a question, please comment and share your experiences and tips.